Paid-for Guide Books, Strategies & Plans
There are thousands of web sites offering guides to recovering from a break up and/or getting your ex- back.
I looked at a lot of them after I was dumped. I read about more of them on relationship forums. And in the years of this site, many readers have sent me material which they purchased. So I've ended up seeing dozens of these breakup guides by now.
Some of the guides are well-intentioned. Many aren’t.
But regardless of the motive, the reality is that essentially all of them are taking advantage of people who’ve been dumped. Many studies have shown that the pain of a difficult breakup activates many of the same areas in the brain that are triggered by physical pain such as being burned or breaking a bone. The bio-behavioral response can lead to severe stress reactions and physical disturbances. (If you haven't already read it, take a look at the article "The Pain Of Rejection Is Real" for the full details).
These stress reactions and hormone imbalances in the brain make it impossible to think as clearly as you normally would. So the dumpee is in an extremely vulnerable position and will do anything for a magic cure, would pay anything for a “guaranteed solution" to get the ex- back.
These "breakup help" guides prey on that. They prey on you.
But it’s not going to work. There is no magic cure, there is no guaranteed solution to get the ex- back. They are selling the cruelest of all things: false hope.
It takes two to make a relationship, but only one to break it. In most cases, the reality is that there's nothing else to do but accept that it's over and move on. No internet guide or guru is going to help you achieve the impossible.
There’s also no magic cure to healing other than time and the mental willpower to follow the very common-sense and basic advice offered for free on this website. There's a limit to how much you can really speed up the recovery, since the brain needs time to heal after the blow it's received. It’s cliché, but it’s true that time really is the greatest healer. So you have to suffer through the pain to some extent no matter what you do.
All the information you need is here. Do what you think is necessary: talk to friends and family, read internet forums, post your own threads, send messages to me here.
But whatever you do, save yourself from getting taken advantage of by anyone who tries to sell you anything: there is no secret method and there is no magic fix.