Ex- With New Person

Your Ex- With A New Partner

Your ex- will be with a new person someday. Maybe sooner, maybe later, but it will happen. And you’re going to have to accept that.

Until you’re completely healed, don’t allow yourself to get any information about your ex-‘s love life. Nothing. Zero. Don’t ask, don’t investigate, and if anyone even begins to mention it, cut them off immediately.

The information will only cause you more trauma and delay your healing.

Even the news that your ex- is single is bad because it will increase hope, but at the same time make you wonder why singlehood is better for your ex- than to be with you.

If you already know that your ex- is with another person, in particular if that was the reason for the breakup, then there’s nothing you can do. It won’t help to research the new person, stalk him/her, ask around to learn everything you can, research on Facebook, or whatever.


I know it’s so tempting, especially because you’re not able to think of anything all day except your ex-, but the less you know about the new person, the better.

Unbeknownst to you...

A related issue: your ex- has a new person and you don’t even know. I’ve noticed many stories where the ex- breaks up, the poster writes and writes for months about his/her pain, hopes so much to get back together, the ex- gives mixed signals which are taken positively… then the poster finally finds out that the ex- has been dating someone all that time and was just stringing the dumpee along in confusion or in case it didn’t work out with the new partner.

longing for new partner

It’s even fairly common that the ex- was with a new person already before the breakup.

I’ve seen stories where the poster swears that the ex- will never find a new boyfriend or girlfriend, that no-contact must be killing the ex- just as much as it’s bothering the poster, only to see a while later that the poster finds out the ex- had already met someone and broke up in order to start a new relationship.

It doesn’t have to be an evil soul to do that to you: good people can make bad mistakes, and then make it worse by trying to cover it up. You can swear and swear that your ex- would never do that, but people will do anything when emotions are strong... including your ex-.

And most people don’t want to deliberately hurt you: the ex- doesn’t want to cause even more pain by saying that s/he met someone new, so they don’t mention it when breaking up.

For you to find out while you’re trying to recover is absolutely brutal (trust me, it happened to me), so the best advice is to make a very serious effort to hear and see nothing about your ex-‘s current life.

new partner